Mishalak

I've decided that whenever I post something negative here I must immediately follow it up with something just as, if not more, positive. Therefore I will note something that gives me hope for the future.

Scaled Composites has announced that it will make the first private manned space flight on the 21st of this month. In many ways this is the real beginning of the space age, for if space flight is to become common it cannot be something done by government to capture publicity and bragging rights. The reason we've never been back to the moon isn't because of a lack of dedication, it is because it was a shot, something done without any of the infrastructure that would make returning to the moon either logical or easy. If there had not been the cold war race I suspect that the first manned space flight would not have been until the 1970s and we would not have been to the moon yet.

This is the first tentative step that could very well be the start of a real manned presence in space. No longer a program constantly under threat due to government cuts, but people going there for their own reasons. And that is a very hopeful thing.

I've come to the conclusion that I don't actually want to do anything this weekend except read, exercise, and cook. Therefore when I get back on Friday after work I'm staying here for the rest of weekend except for bike ride breaks. Plus this will save much money that I'd otherwise spend upon gas going out when I don't want to go out.

Monday I'm going to go hike around Dinosaur Ridge after work. I mean I drive by there every single day. As long as I'm up there I'm going to see it and I'll take Katie over there as well. Show off how cool a place Colorado is.

If you have not already guessed this journal is on hiatus. If I feel like writing again I'll be back. Otherwise not.

I've been looking for my phone card for a while now. I had intended to make a long distance call to a frood since he has not called me first. Stymied I'm just lying here in bed writing very bad prose and not much else. I've thought I should fix some dinner. I do have some things in the 'fridge that are edible.

And indeed I do. I have chicken which is now cooking in my own strange brew. Still at home.

The Government of Spain has declared three days of national mourning. The only thing I can say is that I too am in mourning for those that are dead though I am not Spanish. It isn't as perfect as the touching statement made by Le Monde proclaimed, "Today we are all American," after September 11th. But it is all I can say that doesn't sound hokey.

"The words that spoken at a funeral are spoken are too late for the one who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral to sit at the front and hear what was said; maybe to say a few things yourself." -–Jackie, Waking Ned Devine

Recent events have reminded me that I ought not to take my friends and all the many froods that come hear, comment on my journal, and who I in turn love to read. To be part of the world is to feel heartache and loss, because nothing shall stay the same. And in the end I shall be lost too. So before all my tomorrows turn into too late I want to say thank you to all of you. I probably ought to do this for everyone once a year.

Birthdays should be like a great funeral, not depressing, but a joyful wake where everyone expresses that they care for their friend, to recount embarrassing stories, and toast their comrade.

So it's late but my good frood filkerdave happy birthday. I much enjoy the silly chats we have online and I hope someday soon to be able to hang out with you in a consuite. Thanks for being my frood.

Yeah of course it has nothing to do with the fact that Gavin Newsom was previously fairly unpopular in San Francisco. Nooo of course not, perish the thought, politics don't enter into this at all I'm sure.

And I'm sure that his actions won't cause yet another state to change its constitution as did Hawaii and Alaska back in 1993 and 1998. Oh heck no, couldn't possibly set back the movement for equality and make it even harder for us to win the right to get married. No sense at all in bringing cases in states where we might have a good chance of having public support and waiting to do so in states where they passed anti-gay laws by fricking ballot imitative.

By gosh let's just nominate him our leader without ever raising the question of "Where the fuck was Gavin Newsom two years ago when Lambda Legal started this in Massachusetts?" Or perhaps, "Why didn't he lay some legal groundwork rather than just going at this willy nilly?"

He's just a parisite making a big noise to win political points from what I can see. It makes me sick that my fellow queers are falling for this like Republicans eating up Bush's rehetoric. I'm going to go give some of that money I don't have enough of to the real heros in this those lawyers in Mass.

On the wall at my grandmother's home hangs the only heirloom item of my family. It has been passed from mother to daughter for a very long time. How long? Well it tells everyone who looks at it. It is a sampler, an example of crossstich ability made by a young woman, and in addition to a few artistic designs and letters it says,

Elizabeth Floyd
Granville County, North Carolina
May the 11^th
1825
It won't ever belong to me. Being the eldest daughter it will belong to my mother and then in time it will belong to my sister. It is a nice brush with history and has facinated me ever since I was a kid. If my sister has children it will definately be better that it goes to her, since I probably won't.

Well I got the final crown on my broken tooth today and paid off the rest of my bill. I'm going to have $30 left after I pay my rent on the 1st of the month. It is a scary feeling to be down to nearly zero. Usually I'm the sort that keeps a fair amount on hand all the time so I don't have to worry if an expense comes up. But instead I'll have to husband my funds carefully until payday next week.

Right now my tooth hurts from the wiggling and pull to get the temporary crown off of it, so I'm not a totally happy camper, though hopefully that will be just fine tomorrow morning. I'm going to have a nice soft yam for dinner along with some juice and not much else. I'm off my feed. I do hope this is all normal and nothing has gone wrong.

The pain does put me in mind of what I consider one of the worst mistakes of my youth. Braces. I didn't want them. Not one bit and I expressed my reluctance to get them to my parents, but I didn't do it forcefully enough to overcome the impressive orthodontist title. Parents, never, never give your kids braces unless it is absolutely necessary. My teeth were as near perfect as nature gets. The main reason for me to have them was to fix a 'clicking' jaw. It didn't work and my teeth have a lot more holes in them due to the difficulty I had keeping my teeth clean with the damn braces on. I would rather have whole teeth and a touch of imperfection than perfectly straight teeth with pits and fillings.

If I ever get to travel back to my childhood I know exactly where I would head, the day before the braces appointment was set up to kick, scream, and threaten my parents until they let me keep my teeth.

Tonight I am headed to First Friday Fandom in Colorado Springs. That starts at 8pm so I have just enough time to either cook myself something at home or to meet up with someone before the meeting for a light dinner. This is the start of my first full weekend in a while so I'm going to take every advantage of it. Tommorrow, as I mentioned in an email to friends, everything is on for Outer Fandom. The club is still meeting at Diedrick's at 9th and Downing as I thought some people might just show up without reading my email. But next month I think it might be a good idea to meet at Pablo's. If the group is agreeable.

For next weekend I still plan on hitting COSine and Rose is likely to be going down with me. Any others for the Mishalak express to Colorado Springs on Friday the 16th? Note, I will be coming back for the DASFA meeting if that changes your mind.