Not Joining This Either

[mishalak]

In order to make the series of emails, postcards, and website experiences more interesting I have recast them as a door to door solicitor named "Nextdoor.com". This is an awkward name for a humanoid, but it fits for him since he's a 40 year old guy wearing black horn-rimmed glasses and very dark blue jeans in order to look friendly, yet cool. The effect is rather spoiled by the fact that his voice has a rather nasal quality that makes one think of a somewhat self absorbed middle manager rather than someone you actually wish to be friends with. So here I am at home starting a load of laundry when I get a perky knock at my door. Nextdoor.com stood there with a clipboard in his off hand and his right extended in expectation of giving me a hearty handshake, "Howdy, neighbor."

I replied with cautious, "Uh, hello," but did not take his hand due to being somewhat off put by his assumed familiarity.

Nextdoor.com ignored my lack of reciprocation and continued right into his pitch. "I'm here to help you connect with your neighbors so your neighborhood can be like Mayberry where everyone knows everyone and is friendly."

"Okay, I suppose that sounds nice."

"To get started we will need your name," he said holding out his clipboard and a pen with the expectation that I would immediately start filling out his forms.

"I am Mishalak," I announced with all the gusto and pride that is familiar to anyone who knows my crazy little ways about the power of names and how much I like mine.

"No silly, your real name."

"That is my real name," I replied with amused grin.

"Nonsense, first and last please, neighbors trust you more if they know your real name and it is illegal to give false information."

My grin fled like a bird taking wing. "Wait, illegal?

"That's right, in some jurisdictions it is a crime to give false information and we will terminate your account if we learn that you lied to us."

With some incredulity I stared at the now unwelcome presence on my doorstep. "Illegal to give false information... Just who are you, a wholly own subsidiary of the FBI?"

"We're a private company that wants to help you connect with the people you live with," the perkiness continued, but it seemed more and more like middle management friendliness. It only existed for the purpose of getting to a goal rather than having any reality.

"A private company and it is a crime to not give you my 'real' name?"

"That's right, we have spent a lot of money to get neighborhood boundaries right so that we know exactly where you are so it would be unfair for you to not give us what we want."

"So, I take it that you would then own whatever I give you."

"Yep, but you can trust is to only share it with your neighbors and select advertisers."

"Uh uh. And if you go bankrupt will you then sell off your database?"

"Great, let's get started."

His non sequitur was not going to make me relent in my counter questioning. "I have some more questions for you first."

"No problem, what is your address?"

"Uh, no, you are creeping me out a bit and I think you are working from a script rather than talking to me. No thanks and goodbye."

I shut my door and locked it just in case he might try to come inside after me.

He called out to me through the closed door. "Your neighbor wants you to join, it'll be fun!"

I assume he went away at that point since I have not since kept receiving postcards and emails asking me to join. On the whole I found nextdoor to be much creepier than facebook even though right now facebook seems not to be intent on trying to make people into a sort of borg drone for advertisers. The thing is that aside from the unintentional leakage issue I know that any service that is for profit and supported by advertisers is going to sell my information to the highest bidder and I have no idea if this is good or bad and when I do not understand something my default answer is "No". Plus the whole "real name" fetish puts me off.

Comments

[vicarage]

I just leave all the personal stuff blank or lie. It always surprises me how people presented a form knuckle down and complete it without considering who's asking

I think survey data very suspect regarding demographics as I know what I make up

So unless its actual sales data, I wonder why they pay for it.

(And I swear at FB with its jolly lifestyle popups)

[mishalak]

I did not even want to give them my real false information after the veiled threat present upon the sign up page. That bit is 100% authentic and I think even facebook does not imply that they will sue you if you do not give real information. Though I do not know since I joined facebook and then promptly deleted my account three months later after hating it.

[vicarage]

Its still hateful, I only check mine to get party invites from others. I removed or lied about all things I had there

[julesjones]

I have no idea what this is about, but I get the distinct impression that I should be grateful this is so. I wonder how I've avoided getting on their dunning list?

[mishalak]

I suspect, but do not know, that it will not come to the United Kingdom. It is a social network like facebook with the idea of getting to know actual neighbors rather than people spread out across half the world. I read about it in the New York Times about the time I started getting email requests for me to join and postcards. In the New York Times article the founder spoke of spending lots of money on the geographical information and I suspect that with the EU laws on privacy they would not be able to so easily do so in your country.

[julesjones]

Ah. Yes, you're probably right about EU data privacy laws making it a good deal less lucrative here.