Mr. Frown-y Face

[mishalak]

For as long as I can remember people have been asking me what is wrong or to stop frowning when I am not actually upset. Usually this happens when I am thinking hard about something pleasant or difficult. It either could be that I frown unconsciously when I am concentrating or else when I am absent from myself that my face just looks angry or something. It would be terribly useful to have a picture of myself without being aware of having a picture taken. After all if it is something like the shape of my eyebrows I could do something about that. Not that this question comes up terribly often though the latest time was today while working. It is mildly distressing to think I am sending messages without intending to.

Comments

[kaffy_r]

I think it's the human lot to send messages without intending to. Our body language is a) so complex in and of itself, by virtue of voluntary and involuntary movements and b) perceived in so many ways by others, that it's a lost battle before the first skirmish begins.

Mechanically, I've found my face settles naturally into what people perceive as a frown. That means I, too, have gotten such questions. There's little I can do about it except explain my real state of mind (whatever that might be) to those who care enough to question. Those who don't care to ask will have to deal with me as they see fit; once they talk to me, however, they often find that the frown on my resting face is belied by what I say and how my active face affects them.

[brooms]

http://blog.krisatomic.com/?p=1617

[kaigou]

I get that all the time. I've gotten to the point that I'll find a way to say in a new job situation -- well before any point of actual real-life, thinky-thoughts frowny-times -- that I have a thinking-hard face. I'll point to the line between my brows and say, "when you see a line, right here, it means I'm thinking really hard." Or if someone asks me if I'm upset, I make a point of saying, "oh, that's not my upset-face, that's my thinking face." Eventually people get used to it.

Or not, since I actually pretty much lost a job, once, because of it, too -- that's what you get for dealing with ultra-sensitive types who don't think twice about walking up behind you and startling you, so add annoyed-surprise on top of deep-thinking-frown, and you've got ultra-sensitive person crying in the bathroom. Well, there was other crap going on with the job, but basically my frowny-face became their reason for saying not-a-good-fit. Bleah.

But then, I've never been very good at coddling insecurities in the workplace, either, so it's not like I'm going to be good with the touchy-feely sensitive types anyway. (Most of whom don't ever seem to realize that I find their tendency of sneaking up on me to be equally offensive, if not more so.)