Someday My Prince...

[mishalak]

Once upon a time I wanted nothing more than to find the man who would make my life better. He would be handsome, with a good job, and I would love him enough that when he kicked my ass to get me fixing my life I would do it. About two years ago I realized what a ludicrous dream that was. Waiting for the prince who would make everything better.

If I sit around moping for someone else to make my life better it never will get better because no one is going to get involved with a whiny guy who desperately needs fixing. If I want to be involved with a great guy I've got to become the man I want to be, first.

So I decided that I would decide which things I really wanted to change and which were idle wishes. Also I'd have to be realistic and not try to bite off too much at once. So I've been working on being more positive, at least outwardly. And I try to be neater, honest. That's not going so well so far. And I am exercising more, though I've scaled back my expectations. I'm not going to try for the perfect defined body.

So positive thoughts sort of things to all my friends, and don't wait around for Mr. Right. Find him in yourself.

(I'm not even sure I'm convincing to myself, but I know this is the right answer.)

Comments

[armoire-man.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Exactly, exactly, exactly. Life is a constant adjustment to find perfection in what is, rather than seeking a match to some desperate vision of perfection.

Besides, once you get strong and self-confident and don't *need* a Mr. Right, a whole bunch of 'em will suddenly appear.

[aylinn.livejournal.com]

what he said.

it's another aspect of when you like yourself, others will like you.

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Please send me a nekkid picture so I can see how you're doing... ;-)

I think your theory is pretty sound, although theory is so often simpler than implementation...

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Must reissst old line.... Aw what the heck.

I want to live in Theory. Everything works there.

There will be no new nekid pics until spring, when I can go out in the sun without freezing important bits off. Or when I get some sort pretty background to take pictures of myself on while inside. Having the book clutter in the photo is not sexy.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Having the book clutter in the photo is not sexy.

Beg to disagree. The only thing that kept me from propositioning a guy on the bus this morning was the lack of permission from the one-point-something boyfriends I've already got, and his French poetry might've been for a class. I realize you're not after geeklusting girls so much, but the principle is bound to hold.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

If I had a tastefull clutter I might agree, but my books while individually interesting make for a overwhelming composition together. And really for a good photograph I think a blurry or otherwise not as interesting as the person background is better. Like if I had more leatherbound books I could stack them all up and they'd be nice, but not so... colorful.

Plus the apartment is still a mess. I'm working on it, but not much progress so far.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I suppose they'd be visually distracting. I still maintain they have inherent appeal (hence my decorating style), but presentation's important too.

[neonnurse.livejournal.com]

That makes me think of a little family story. Hey, get back here!

Long ago, when Damaris was still in high school, she was yammering on about The Boy of the Week, and trailed off sighing, "But the good ones are always taken."

"Yeah, but who do you think takes them? The OTHER GOOD ONES!"

So basically, try to make yourself one of the Good Ones, and the other Good Ones will be lining up to take YOU!

(Wait. I think that came out wrong....)

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I've had guys queuing up to take me. But I'm picky and most of them don't even make it to first base. So I figure I need something more than good looks and a bigger than average... well you get the idea.

Hence my project of making myself a better person. So far though I'm not that terrible a catch, and I even realize this when I'm not depressed. Oh wait, there's one of those negatives. But hey I cook very well. I dress well but I'm not spendthrift. I am quietly intelligent (rather than being self-absorbidly intelligent like some intellectuals) and I have a clue about grooming. And if he's a geek it should be a plus that I am too.

[publius1.livejournal.com]

And you're so much more modest than anyone else...

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Modesty is for people who don't have any reason to show off. Wow. That was nearly a Cordeliaism. "Like shame is something to be proud of."

But seriously, I do more than enough pointing out of my own faults when I'm depressed. And very few other people will talk me up to potential boyfriends, so it's up to me to point out my best qualities.

[gwynbones.livejournal.com]

On the whole outwardly positive thing: It really does work. Even if you're feeling inwardly a little crappy, just making an effort does eventually get you in the habit of trying to find the bright side of things. As someone who's had to combat depression a good chunk of her life, making that decision to try not to be is a big step. Obviously, putting on a smiling face when you're miserable isn't the best way to go about it, but your determination to better yourself is a pretty damn good step.

congratulations, you've discovered personal growth

[gomeza.livejournal.com]

Seriously, congratulations. I've known people twice your age who haven't figured out yet that happiness and improvement cannot be found externally. And more to the point, the more that you love yourself (I don't mean in a narcisistic or egotistical way, I mean in terms of contentment) the more attractive you will become (magically!) to those you might want for partners. In other words, the search for True Love (tm) is not about finding the right person for you, it's about being the right person for someone else.

[mix-o-choc.livejournal.com]

Don't you dare make me say the "to find your prince charming you gotta kiss alot of frogs" line cause I swear if you make me say it I'm gonna come over there and kick your ass till you bleed :)

Cheer up buddy. We all want that special ideal someone to come into our lives and turn it upside down in a very good way and take us away to a new and much more wonderful life than we already have. *sighs*

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Heck no. I'm not kissing any frogs. Not knowingly anyway.

[mroctober.livejournal.com]

Well you certainly seem cute enough in thought and form and smart and witty, so yes, you certainly would be more than an ideal TAFF but also a nice guy to hang with at any con...

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks! But do you vote in TAFF? <grin> After all I have enough friends and froods just here on LJ to win TAFF if they all voted. But they don't and if a person isn't interested in that aspect of fandom I'm not going to force it on him. Though I will try to atract them the old fashioned way with booze and parties before voting. I'm going to get them voting this next year so they can vote for me without accusations of me packing the polls when I stand in 2005. Besides, its a good thing to let people know about TAFF if they're interested in wider fandom.

[mroctober.livejournal.com]

Hmm, maybe I should talk to my friends at Lethe and sponsor some sort of thing for gay fans to attend Gaylaxicon 2005 in Boston... that way I can give you the hug I owe you for the review

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Will you being going to Worldcon in Boston? I plan on being there next year. Might be easier than getting money out of a small press. <grin>

[mroctober.livejournal.com]

Yep, I'll be attending that... I have good friends in Boston. Hopefully I'll be out of this funk and looking better when I meet you.