The Epiphany: Or Why I Like Fashion and Clothing

[mishalak]

I am a work in progress, as are most people. I'm always learning new things. I geek out about clothing and have for a number of years now. It nearly coincided with my entry into fandom, but that is not what caused it.

When I was in high school I was deathly afraid that I might be accused of being gay. Being a slender geek without much defense against bullying and I knew at some level that somehow being very thin was somehow associated with being gay. So I tried very hard not to be effeminate. I wore only guy colors like black, green, gray, and blue. I didn't even like to wear anything with a pattern. And most of my clothing was rather too large for me and I hoped it would hide how thing I was. I probably actually made me look like a beanpole holding up a size large tent.

And I continued wearing my plain button down twill shirts and slightly too short slacks right into my brief foray into college and then at the beginning of my time in fandom. But while in college I'd been exposed to a new thing, the internet. And I'd seen things there. Naked guy things. And after much trepidation and hesitation I met with a gay guy. That was right before I found fandom. I came out a few months after I joined fandom in about May 1999. But my choices in clothing and political party continued to be the same, unexamined, for around another year, I think. I was attracted to a certain sort of guy. Rather well dressed in a very gay way and one day I had a sort of revelation. "Here I am, gay. That's what I was afraid of being called all these years. Now I admit it openly. Why am I afraid to look like one of the guys I am attracted to?"

It was not as articulate as that. And it was not like there were never backsliding or times when I would dress more conservatively. But that is essentially why I dress and look the way I do. I decided I wanted to look like the sort of guy I found attractive. And it is also why I go on about geek clothing choices. My fellow straight geeks are not going to get the same very direct epiphany moment of, "Hey, maybe I should do my best to look like a person I'd want to date." Not to say they cannot, but we can all be a bit clueless at times as geeks. And in actually exploring fashion rather than just dismissing it without knowing as, "Frivolous bunk not worth a real man's time" I've learned a lot about the practical side of clothing.

Not only how to be more comfortable, but how to look my best with what I've got. And I want to share it. So this is part of me being a geek and it is also something I think that other geeks should know a certain minimal amount about. My first love isn't computers, but I know enough to work with one. It is the same thing with clothing. We need it or it is required, why not use it to our best advantage.

Okay, that's my speech.

Comments

[inqueery.livejournal.com]

Good speech! :-D I've always had a bizarre love-hate relationship with clothes. The hate part is that while I know what looks good and works when I see it - I've not quite had the innate knack of putting those combinations together myself. I have an artistic side to myself that I think must come from the "gay gene", but still finds itself being hampered by the "geek gene". I suppose its good to be able to live on both sides of the fence, but its still somewhat frustrating.

...and yes having the thin build, I always had clothes that hung off of me like a tent. Now I demand and expect clothes to fit ... but still is tricky to find them sometimes!

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I don't have the knack either. For all the sliding around of options in my head while showering sometimes I'll put on an outfit and find it just doesn't work. Then off the clothes come and I put on something else. If I can.

[doja35.livejournal.com]

Gosh, when I look back through some of the fashions I have worn over the years (the 80’s now that was an interesting time……), it really is quite scary!! I can honestly say that I have never particularly followed high fashion; I have taken some of the ‘in’ styles and converted into my own thing. Talking to my friends that have known me for years, they tell me that I was more known for my type of anti-fashion, my own unique look (I think this could be meant to be a compliment). However over the years it has changed (especially as my weight has fluctuated). When I first moved to London I was definitely of the ‘skin-head’ or ‘punk’ look, with a standard uniform of Levi’s, Doc Martin boots, T-Shirts and Bomber Jackets in ranges of Black and Blue. My hair was short and a Mohawk for most of this and various colours – lots and lots of bright different colours. But that is the bit that is interesting in regard to your comments, I tended to dress and look like the kind of men that I found attractive! So I generally go for thugy looking guys so there was me with piercings and tattoo’s and short coloured spiky hair and very masculine plain looking clothes…. A trend that has sort of stayed with me – despite the fact I am still growing the hair (pony tail length now) and have got very fat!! My dress sense is quite staid. I tend to be in jeans and boots and tee-shirts (which tend to be dark colours – though I have recently been getting ones with funny comments on them). But I miss the days I looked like a thug and long to eventually go back to them as I felt it was a look that suited me!!!

*waves* Heya, dunno if you remember me from Pyramid...

[archangelbeth]

Considering how popular bishonen can be with femfans... And kilts (my mother loves a guy in a kilt)... Straight geeks should not discount paying attention to what the opposite sex is wearing.

Also, your icon there is very nice.


(BTW, Could you, perchance, check out http://archangelbeth.livejournal.com/630446.html briefly? I'm trying to make my archive of John M. Ford posts available to the folks at Making Light, but most of the posts I have from him are replies to other people, and sometimes the context would really be lost without being able to include the text that he's replying to...)

Re: *waves* Heya, dunno if you remember me from Pyramid...

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I totally remember you. Good heavens, everyone from Pyramid is here.

Well there is what the opposite sex is wearing and what they can wear. I'm lucky enough to be attracted to my own body type as well. It gets into the whole body transformation area, where if I was more attracted to big muscles I suppose the revelation would be harder. And the work to look like that would be much harder as well. And I didn't want to make my point too much about changing everything, but just to work with the assets the geeks already have.

Re: *waves* Heya, dunno if you remember me from Pyramid...

[archangelbeth]

It is hugely amazing to me how many people from Pyramid are also on LJ.

And you have a point. If I liked the "Arnie" look... Um. Er. Difficult.

(I still think that kilt-fancying is common enough to be useful, though. Alas, I'll probably never get mine into a kilt. *sigh*)