Of Houses and Fathers

[mishalak]

I spent most of the day with my Dad looking at houses. I do this to humor him because he still regards my life as broken and so he wants to fix it. I don't regard my life as broken in the same way he does. He thinks that I ought to work more so that I can get a big house and have financial security. The idea of working more, say working as hard as if I had a second job fixing up a house, just to move out into another one is rather off putting. I'd rather keep living in an apartment and wait for a house I'd want to move into and keep.

Does that make sense? I'm seeing it as undesirable to work harder for just more money, but desirable to get a house I intend to keep fixed up the way I want. I'm unhappy with my life, but I am not unhappy enough to do radical amounts of work to change it.

A Bit of Clarification
What my Dad was suggesting was that we buy this house in south Aurora and fix it up and sell it in two or three years. Make $50,000 profit on it and move on to another house and possibly doing the same thing until I could afford my dream house. I really don't want to be doing that. If I were to be involved in a massive fix up project for years I'd want it to be my own home and I would not care if the house was small or something. I'm not looking for the same thing my dad does, which is some sort of huge monster house.

Comments

[sraun]

Sounds entirely reasonable to me!

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I'm always glad to hear from my friends that I've not lost all perspective because I'm dealing with my parents. That can happen sometimes you know.

[dragon-smoke.livejournal.com]

It sounds reasonable to me too. We stayed in an apartment long after most of our other friends bought condos or townhomes. Why? Well, we didn't want a condo or townhome- we wanted a home. Yes, ours is a little more broken down than I would like, and I sometimes miss the comfort of having landlords, but I just couldn't understand that "this is a stepping stone to the house of our dreams" motivation. I HATE moving, and didn't want just a stepping stone.

Be true to what you want, and what makes you comfrtable. Tht's all I can say.

A Bit of Clarification

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd mind having a townhome or a condo, but what my Dad was suggesting was that we buy this house in south Aurora and fix it up and sell it in two or three years. Make 50,000 profit on it and move on to another house and possibly doing the same thing until I could afford my dream house. I really don't want to be doing that. If I were to be involved in a massive fix up project for years I'd want it to be my own home and I would not care if the house was small or something. I'm not looking for the same thing my dad does, which is some sort of huge monster house.

[armoire-man.livejournal.com]

I don't regard my life as broken in the same way he does.

That's a great summing-up of parent-child relationships.

Yeah, I'd wait to buy the house until you've won TAFF, run a couple of conventions, etc, etc. You're not going to have time to spend in a house for the next few years.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Oh I might have some time to spend on a house, but not the sort of find a messy but fixable house to repair and sell for a profit that my dad is suggesting. Heck, if I could find a house not too far out on the west side of town I'd love to buy a home and live in part as I renovate the other half myself. But it would have to be someplace for me to live and not a buy and flip investment.

[dlacey.livejournal.com]

It sounds very reasonable to me. I hope to own a house someday myself but I wouldn't dream of buying unless I knew I was going to stay somewhere, at least for a decade. And that's definately not where I am now. I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that you've mentioned the possibility of relocating as well.

Relocations

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Yes I have. I would be hard to leave behind the wonderful clime of Denver, but if I thought I could get a really good job somewhere with a good fandom I think I would. Though at this point I'm mostly worried about having to relocate a lot inside Denver as I get different jobs. I don't want to be one of those people who ends up driving for an hour to work. Right now my commute is 30 minutes and I want to keep it that way.

[magentamn.livejournal.com]

Remember, "a house is a hole in the ground into which you throw money". (A variation of the old motto of "a boat is a hole in the water into which you throw money") It is as much of a commitment as a relationship. Find the house you love, even if it means fixing it up, when you are ready for it. Otherwise, you'll feel trapped.

I have an old house that needs constant repair. I could tell you horror stories about slimy contractors and repair people!

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

My dad is totally right about being able to make money on this house. There isn't anything fundamentally wrong with it, just a bunch of cosmetic things that need fixing. And they are all things I have helped him do before so it is physically possible that we could do this and the house is also cheap at just $120,000 (or less). If fixed up it would totally be worth $190,000 and the repairs would probably cost about $20,000. But I don't want to work like I have a second job for three years. And I don't want to live in this house since the commute would be awful for me.

[ajournalguy.livejournal.com]

I had intended to say that it sounded perfectly reasonable to me, but I've been beaten to the punch several times over by those with the good fortune of a longer association with you.
Too many people do what they think they're supposed to do, confusing it with what they should do and ignoring what they want to do.