On A Date

I have almost never been on a date. I think I have gone on four or maybe five dates and that seems like it is not enough. It could be that yet again Hollywood has given me the wrong idea about how things work in the real world, but it seems like too low a number. I should have dared to go out more. Though from another perspective, that of the Hollywood nerd my experience is perfectly normal.

Looking back I wonder what my first date, a Star Trek fan named Kelly Egan, thought of it. I think I was almost as awkward as Raj (Big Bang Theory, though not drunk just to be able to talk to her at least) at that point in my life. We went to dinner and a movie, an animated version of James and the Giant Peach. I felt really stupid afterward, like I hurt out friendship. I do hope her future dates went better than that and that she is happy now. Gosh... College. I was a jerk then though at least I can look back and say that I behaved like a gentleman on the date itself. It was afterwards that I was internally resentful as heck that she did not want to go on another date. Probably for the best in the end.

And I got taken on a date by a guy who's name I cannot now remember, which is a shame. Movie and food there as well. No spark, though. And a hiking sort of informal date with a very nice state trooper. If he's reading he should know that it was the best date I ever went on though we did not connect.

The remaining two were things that in retrospect were dates that I was not totally clear about them being dates. Me being clueless. And then there were all the hookups that I do not exactly regret, but were not very useful on relationship building as it turns out.

There are a lot of things I wish I knew or that I wish I had been told. Like not having a date last more than one hour the first time out. And that I should keep doing it until I got a handle on it rather than giving up and trying to make more... physical connections when looking for love.