Tight Jeans

I am out of practice wearing tight jeans. I used to be quite adept at lounging about in a way that was fairly comfortable despite the fact that one false move could have my balls stuffed up into my thorax[1]. Why in the world would I wear such tight jeans going out the a science fiction club meeting? Why not? I like feeling pretty and besides the comfy jeans are dirty from gardening and I do have standards. But as I said, I am out of practice and I was not as comfortable as I would have been in days gone by when tight jeans were my usual garment on the weekends.

I suppose at some point I shall have to stop wearing them. After all wearing tight jeans when I am old and wrinkly will make me look like some sort of male version of Yzma. You know scary beyond all reason. I would rather be old and elegant rather than old and trying too hard for lost youth. But I still have a little time left in them and I should wear them rather than keeping them in a closet. Next weekend another pair shall come out and I will head to a new brewing place I spotted.

Right, off to bed now, I have jeans to wash in the morning.

[1] This would be an example of exaggeration for humorous effect. No jeans, no matter how tight, could cause a man's balls to be forced up into his thorax. My jeans are tight enough that they'll try to force them through the pelvic diaphragm, sure, but not all the way up into the thorax.