Lawn Mowing

[mishalak]

A Pointless Story

My dad has a "thing" about lawn mowing that I don't get. When I was a boy it became my job as the oldest child to mow the lawn when I reached a suitable age. And how I hated that task. My eyes would water, my nose would drip, and I'd get very uncomfortably sweaty.

What annoyed me the most about it was my dad's insistence that I go mow down the "weeds" just beyond the edge of the lawn. Every year it seemed he wanted more area added to the already vast expanse of the two lawns on either side of the house. I once estimated their total area at about 3/4 of an acre out of the 5 acres enclosed by our fence.

Not only did it add to my work it also that it served to drive out the "weeds" that I liked. Harebells, pussy toes, pasqueflowers, penstemons, and fairy trumpets among them. In later years I didn't get any allowance for doing this task (there were other chores for that), I got the right to use the lawn mower to go mow other lawns to earn money. Which in a way was
a good thing since it made me very reluctant to spend my money on frivolous things.

But I was very happy when I moved away and would not longer have to mow the lawn. I've sworn that if I should ever get a house I'll tear out the lawn and replace it with something that uses less water and no mowing!

Comments

[avahgdu.livejournal.com]

If you read the instructions for pakasandra, it doesn't sound like it will work, but everyone in my friend's family does it. They tear out the grass, and plant pakasandra. It never needs mowing, it's a beautiful green, and it smells lovely. One of the Aunts tosses random wildflower seeds into her yard as well. Little bursts of color in this intense feild of dark green. Just a suggestion.

[iamcompufrog.livejournal.com]

I've (many times) told iamcompubear that, given a choice, I would install AstroTurf (although around here, with all the animals, it would quickly look like astroTURD) and never EVER mow or water (except to wash it down).
You would NOT believe the response... the eyes turn red, little flames come from her nostrils, the voice becomes sepulchral and I hear (from "she-who-must-be-obeyed") "You want to do WHAT?!?! to MY LAWN?!?!.

Quickly, I would duck and run and cry out "I'm kidding! Really!" (It never worked, though... the lightning would strike my nether regions and I would smell like brimstone for a few days).

I gave up.

Truly, I am VERY VERY allergic to grass pollen (I feel like Green Acres - "I get allergic smelling hay"). In my case, while I like the smell of newly mown hay and grass my eyes puff up, my lungs start saying things like "Sorry, guy, but I'm shutting down for a while until those histimines are TOTALLY flushed" or "You want me to BREATHE? hahaha!!", I start HOURS of sneezing, etc... and that's AFTER I've taken my anti-histimines and such.

Of course, "she" doesn't accept the excuse that it could put me in the hospital (well, possibly, but it used to make me sick for 3-4 days).
Anyway - Mowing and such is, alas and truly, really debilitating to me, too!

LAST YEAR her idea (a good one, too) was to put up a sign that said:
We Don't Water our Lawn
So we Have Water to Drink
We even saw a few copycats around.
THIS YEAR we haven't had a choice... the rain ghodess hath blessed us... with 2 foot high noxious weeds.

I really DO hate how it looks (she doesn't believe me). The worst part of it is that she's been VERY ill, and between my allergies and my disabilities, I really can NOT do it.
I went out and got weed (not lawn) killer. (I had been waiting for the "at least 12 hours after a rain and 8 before a rain" stuff I had around ... yeah, right. If I had that, I wouldn't NEED the killer.) So I now have "The Right Stuff" to do the job on killing the garbage off... I hope.

It STILL means it has to be cut down.
And the kids bikes have to be pulled out of the plant materials and put somewhere that is appropriate.
And the Trampoline needs to be moved behind the fence.
And the fence GATE that was torn off its hinges by the bear has to be put back up.
And the travel trailer needs to be (finally?) sold so there's room for the trampoline.
And the wooden stand for our cooler (which fell apart at the end of the season last year) needs to be put back together -- or replaced.
And the wood in the back yard (for our fireplace) has to be moved and stacked from where the deer knocked it over (I think while running from the bears).
And the back yard has to have all of the toys and stuff picked up so it looks nicer.
And the back and front decks need to be "policed" (from the pets and the wild and "domesticated" animals amd other stuff)
And...
And...
And it would be nice if I could repaint the wood siding on the upper floors - preferably a lighter colour so it doesn't hold enough heat to make our bedroom 89 degrees in mid-winter (hotter now!).

Ahh... the joys of home ownership when the place is larger than a medium sized cracker box.

Xeriscape! Rocks! Cactus (well, around here there ARE hardy succulents!) High Tension lines to keep the animals off! 20, 30 KV or so (with the 20 Amp option for annoying sales people, pets, and other such nuisances!) would work.

---

Buy a Condo with ALL Amenities included
Or, if you HAVE to have a house - make sure you can afford at least one maid for you, AND
One for each two minors, AND
A Gardener, AND
An experienced handyman...
So you can have the time and energy to enjoy your lovely home.

sigh...

[publius1.livejournal.com]

My father and I planted perennial ryegrass in our home in San Antonio my freshman year of high school; he too wanted me to mow the lawn, and every time I did it I'd be sick for 3-4 days as well. We went to have my allergies checked, and I'm deathly allergic to ryegrass. Heh.

If you HAVE to mow it, a surgical mask might help (with a shower IMMEDIATELY after, before you take the mask off)....

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

When I was growing up my brothers got stuck with mowing the lawn and they made it sound terribly arduous. Groan. Not the lawn. :(

When I got a house I had to mow the lawn myself, and I was pleased to discover that it was a whole lot easier than they'd led me to expect. It's still a chore, but it's not the salt mines. :)

[qingting.livejournal.com]

Our plan is no lawn and all perenials/shrubs. Of course I haven't made much progress in that directions yet, but it will eventually be nice. In the mean time we have nice dirt. no watering, no mowing, just too much dust.

-jude

[iamcompubear.livejournal.com]

I don't think anyone likes to mow yards any more. We have 10 more days before the city comes and does it at a cost of over $200. I have called 7 diferent companies and either there too bussy and do not exept new clints this late in the season or they never come by(or take one look at the yard and run). So much for haaveing a nice yard you can walk barefooted through.

[http://users.livejournal.com/kai_/]

I despised lawn mowing when I was a teen. My father would beat me in order to get me to do it (and I'm a girl!) not that I had any brothers to pass the task off on.

Now I live in a condo (I rent) and my only responsibility is weeding my "garden area".

I will own a house with desert in front, and desert in the back. I can deal with pollinating cacti.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

When I hear things like this it always makes me feel petty for thinking my life is bad. But I've come to accept that I'm fundamentally a petty and selfish person.

Best of luck on getting those cacti. Maybe do some breeding of rare ones (leagally, natch) to release their seeds into the wild? That's an idea I had the other day. There is a cactus in western Colorado without spines that is only a sub species and so isn't protected though it is very rare. I thought it would be a good thing to start a captive breeding program. Plants should get as much care as rare animals. And all that.

[http://users.livejournal.com/kai_/]

I can relate to being selfish and petty, I think that's pretty much the picture of me on many days, but I'm not as bad as other people at it. I don't hold grudges (much) anyway.

I like your idea of specialty breeding of cacti. I'd be all up on that.

But I would definitely have to be able to have at least two things: someplace to grow vegetables, and at least one pear tree. I love pears.

But I could give a shit about grass.