Conventional Thinking

[mishalak]

Conventional Thinking
I, Mishalak, swear that I'll never...

1. Run a science fiction, anime, or other fannish convention.
2. Do even half of the following if I can't manage to follow through on number one.
3. Schedule a guest of honor, or indeed much of anything, opposite opening ceremonies.
4. Engage in a coup d'etat against the organizing committee. Particularly not in the final month before the convention.
5. Spend money the convention doesn't have or have any conservative expectation of getting.
6. Refuse to delegate tasks I cannot do to maintain my own little tightly controlled empire of nothing getting done unless it gets done the way I want it to.
7. Announce a project/event and keep it in the schedule/progress reports without anyone assigned to organize it.
8. Put up and leave up misdirecting signs.
9. Make constant programming changes during the convention.
10. Allow every masquerade entry to take 10 minutes to recite a monologue to go with their costume. Heck they shouldn't get more than one minute on stage.
11. Allow conrunners to use the con to promote their religion or political party.
12. Attempt to strangle other committee members.
13. Make useful volunteers feel like they aren't needed or appreciated.
14. Fail to advertize the convention and then wonder why no one shows up.
15. Endlessly claim that other fans are out to get me and that's why my con is failing.

I'll add to this as I think of things/get suggestions.

Comments

[crazysoph.livejournal.com]

12. Attempt to strangle other committee members.

Hee! The "Inner Brat" reads this and says, "Yeah, I'll actually DO it, none of this "try" crap!"

On a more serious note, general sympathies - I've never run a convention, but my life has overfilled on more than one occasion, and it's something I guard against pretty constantly now, for my own sanity's sake.

Crazy(but trying not to give it to others)Soph

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Well yes. There is a slight element of that as well. I nothing good can come of only trying. Except maybe getting removed as a member of the committee. Oh wait now it is sounding much better...

[akicif.livejournal.com]

1. Run a science fiction, anime, or other fannish convention.

I said this a while back - and to be honest, while I miss various aspects, I've felt a lot better for it.

2. Do even half of the following if I can't manage to follow through on number one.

Half is a good target to aim for here...

3. Schedule a guest of honor, or indeed much of anything, opposite opening ceremonies.

Or, indeed, anything opposite the main GoH event. However, sending gophers round the bars to drag people in is probably still a no-no.

4. Engage in a coup d'etat against the organizing committee. Particularly not in the final month before the convention.

Yeah - bad idea. I was accidentally involved in one eight months before the my first con (well, it wasn't so much a coup as we got sort of sucked into a power - well, responsibility, really - vacuum). On the other hand, there was the time I chaired a con and had to go work in France for some months in the immediate run-up, so maybe I was more couped against than couping.

5. Spend money the convention doesn't have or have any conservative expectation of getting.

Managed not to do this one, kinda sorta, except accidentally when the free band we had fell through, and the con insurance wouldn't spring for one we'd have to pay for. This in itself wasn't so bad, but we'd almost as many local fen in the bar (non-con space) as joined, so....

6. Refuse to delegate tasks I cannot do to maintain my own little tightly controlled empire of nothing getting done unless it gets done the way I want it to.

Happy enough to delegate stuff, the problem was often not having anyone to delegate to.

7. Announce a project/event and keep it in the schedule/progress reports without anyone assigned to organize it.

See above.

8. Put up and leave up misdirecting signs.

Oh, come on. This one can be fun. But never at your own con (Um, no, I've never actually done this, but it's been very tempting)....

9. Make constant programming changes during the convention.

It's good for this not to need to happen, but if it does, there's even more scope for misdirecting signage (provided it's so silly it's obvious - okay, it's a bad idea, too).

10. Allow every masquerade entry to take 10 minutes to recite a monologue to go with their costume. Heck they shouldn't get more than one minute on stage.

Can't see anything to disagree with here. A former concomm colleague once suggested that we allow masquerade entries an extra 30s for each item of clothing removed, and from that the idea of a con cabaret was eventually born.

11. Allow conrunners to use the con to promote their religion or political party.

Only if equal time given to all, and I mean all religions/parties. And if one isn't available, then they all get the same time as that one - i.e. none.

12. Attempt to strangle other committee members.

Unless necessary for your health, or the continued well-being of the con.

13. Make useful volunteers feel like they aren't needed or appreciated.

I'd go further - make unnecessary, but enthusiastic, volunteers feel useful - that way they'll come back and do it again when we do need them.

14. Fail to advertize the convention and then wonder why no one shows up.

Er, um. Alternatively, over-advertising can lead to discovering a month before the con that you've filled your hotel and the hotel has, on their own initiative, spoken to several other local hotels and booked people in at the same rate (quite nice when the con hotel was a 2.5 star job, and the accidental overflows had 4). On the other hand, you don't want to hear about it first from Randon Famous Author type wondering why he couldn't get a room in the con hotel.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I said this a while back - and to be honest, while I miss various aspects, I've felt a lot better for it.

So do I. Mostly. I wish I had the type of personality to be able to remain sane and work on one.

Mostly because of my con experience I think of opening/closing ceremonies as the main GoH event. I'll have to add about sending gophers to the bars to round up an audience. Stepping into a power vacuum is in no way like a coup, more like charging an enemy position. Still crazy, but not evil.

Happy enough to delegate stuff, the problem was often not having anyone to delegate to.

Yeah. But at times like that I figure it is time to call off that part of the event or if it is mission critical to think about how much the con is really needed/wanted.

I figure something went wrong in the planning stage if on the day of the convention is finding it needs to move or cancel programing because people are not showing up. It's a sign that control of the situation was lost some weeks before and no one noticed.

Only if equal time given to all, and I mean all religions/parties. And if one isn't available, then they all get the same time as that one - i.e. none.

Nice rule.

Unless necessary for your health, or the continued well-being of the con.

I'd think that it would be more helpful to just remove the person or threaten to quit.

I'd go further - make unnecessary, but enthusiastic, volunteers feel useful - that way they'll come back and do it again when we do need them.

Good idea.

You're

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Terribly young to be swearing such oaths! ;-)

Re: You're

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I'm wiser than my years.

[gomeza.livejournal.com]

I am not the con chair you are looking for. Move along.
:)

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I won't run a con until I have enough money to hire someone to do it for me. <laugh>

[replyhazy.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear dear! I think we should be administering this oath to everybody who volunteers for a con!

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Everyone? But who will run the convention then?

You could probably ...

[(Anonymous)]

Write my response here since you've heard me pontificate enough about the subject. So I won't actually write it out. (However, I am beaming it to you telepathically *right now* ... OMMMMM.) BTW, I finished reading Connie Willis's novella Inside Job in Asimov's Jan/ 05 issue last night, and I thought it rocked. -Rose

[lysana.livejournal.com]

Hmm... dredging up from my years of different issues with different chairbeasts...

* Use "why hasn't this been done yet" as a means of delegating tasks.

* Omit paying the bills.

* Humiliate a well-meaning volunteer in front of the entire committee.

* Attempt a coup d'etat against the chairman with hypothetical financial calculations that manage to omit little bits of reality.

* Send confidential meeting minutes from a fake email address to as many SMOFs as I can in an attempt to aid in the aforementioned coup.

[lysana.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn. That was all the same individual.

[lysana.livejournal.com]

Or mostly... I can't be sure if the last two were the same people or two acting in cahoots.

[alias-lilacgirl.livejournal.com]

10. Allow every masquerade entry to take 10 minutes to recite a monologue to go with their costume. Heck they shouldn't get more than one minute on stage.

How very, very painful. *shivers*

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

This is why I often don't to to masquerades. The Costume Guild doesn't know when to cut people off.