The Gay Leviticus

[mishalak]

Am v. silly tonight.

Entertainment
You shall watch Musicals and feel no shame. Further you must seek out at least one musical to enjoy and promote to all your fellows.

You shall find one Romantic Comedy, with either a gay or straight couple, to enjoy in each year. If you prefer a musical with romance may be substituted for this requirement.

By these acts shall our covenant with the evil Hollywood Conspiracy be kept and in turn they shall promote out lifestyle.

Food
You shall not eat sugar or unhealthy fats, if you are overweight. He who is a proud part of the Bear Tribe shall be exempt from this. Also exempt are any who fervently promises to work it off, even if no one believes him. His associates shall keenly and unfairly mock one who do not exercise and still eat of the forbidden foods. Also exempt are those in need of comfort when under emotional stress.

You shall never swallow plain tap water. Filtered, mineral, or seltzer with or without a natural flavoring, shall be what you demand. If the circumstances demand you may drink tap water that has been allowed to settle in a refrigerator no less than eight hours to let the chlorine escape.

Sports
If you watch NASCAR you shall be anathema to your fellow Homosexual Conspirator. He that watches the redneck sport shall be unclean until he repents and shunned by all. Their dark masters oppose ours. Plus we really wanted one hard line commandment.

Comments

[elemirion]

I don't know if you have seen these or not, but figured you should:

http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/

and then if you liked those, read these too!

http://www.magma.ca/~rickbard/VSJ/

Hope you enjoy them.

Re: Fiction

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I've seen them, of course. Maybe someday I'll suddenly become famous because of my fiction... Yeah, probably not.

[armoire-man.livejournal.com]

Okay...now, what are the *secret* criteria? The *real* stuff?

I ask because I seem to fit all the criteria except for actually being attracted to men. Can I be honorary?

Re: Not All

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Well this isn't all of it. There is also stuff about clothing, more about food, much more about sports, how to corrupt people, how many of the minor rules a gay guy can break and still be in the conspiracy, etc...

Re: Not All

[armoire-man.livejournal.com]

Hm. Can I be an outside agitator?