Mishalak's 5th of November

[mishalak]

Remember, remember...
Hello Lady San Francisco.

And you reply, "Hello Sir, you have the advantage for I do not know your name."

I, I have no name in truth, but you may call me M. I was never a great fan of yours Lady San Francisco, oh I know what you must be thinking, but no I am not one of those who hates you from afar with the venom that the country boy holds for the big and dangerous city. It was simply the case that I never thought I would live anywhere but my home state so it never occurred to me to either long for your foggy hills or to glare westward towards them.

"So what changed your mind", you ask with perhaps just a bit of smugness, knowing that all who come here cannot fail to fall hopelessly in love with you.

But to your surprise I respond that I never did change my mind. I moved here for a job I was offered nearly out of the blue when I was unemployed. I came with an open mind determined to enjoy the experience, however long it would last. But I do not think it will last terribly long for now that I am here I find that I am in love with another. A childhood friend whom I always took for granted until I lived far away from her.

"And what is it that this hussy offers you that I cannot offer you more of and better?"

Love Lady San Francisco, Love. For simple unpretentious Denver loves in return as well as she is loved, and so far that is not something I have seen of you.

"You wound me unfairly, what of all the lovely boys in my Castro, the fashionable in Union Square, every sort of person with every sort of taste at my fairs, you cannot find my love there?"

Patiently I reply, Lust is not the same as love my lady. Simple friendship without even the sex would be better than lust in the place of love. Still I try to follow the advice of Mr. Dowd and be kind and not just smart. I am willing to give it another go even with all that has happened in these rough first three months. You know what they say bout it all being over by Christmas, that's never true, so I'll say it and give you to January. And if I do not feel differently by then I shall return to the dry and cold mountains of Colorado that will always be my home.

Adieu Lady San Francisco

Comments

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

I *like* SF. I don't think I could live there.

And I've yet to see Denver.

But I really like how this is written.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I stole the style from any number of madmen taking both sides of a conversation with an anthropomorphic personification. Though V for Vendetta is particularly close to the top of my mind lately. What with the 400th anniversary of the gunpower plot and the movie next year.

[merith.livejournal.com]

I'm with Filker. Though I'm a native Californian, and have lived from top to bottom and side to side of her, I do not believe I will ever live in her boundries again. I love to visit for a week or two at a time, but do not feel that draw most others have felt for any one place within.

Your declaration reads more late eighteenth, early ninethteen century to me. ;) very cute, but to the point.

Whatever your decision, I do wish you well.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I suppose it is, I tend to fall in that mode. "V" uses it to talking to Lady Justice on top of Old Bailey. I'm not as upset with San Francisco as he was with Lady Justice so I'm not going to leave her a box of explosives as a parting gift, but I so totally stole the style. He's an interesting anti-hero, who could be anything. Black, political enemy, homosexual, female, it is an interesting comic. The movie better be good and they better leave who "V" was before ambiguous.

[johny--b.livejournal.com]

My friends Josh and Sarah wore V for Vendetta costumes for Halloween to Death Guild (a goth club downtown.)
I still prefer SF to most places I've lived.

[rautenkranzmt.livejournal.com]

having just returned from Bill's belated wedding reception (thing), it was remarked that you are missed here in Denver. If you do choose to return, I daresay you will be welcomed.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me know.

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

Going by what you've written here & elsewhere (and yes, maybe this should be posted to a differnt thread): You don't seem to have (or be willing to recognize, or tell us about) any emotional/psychological/life Problems that aren't associated with Being About Seventeen Years Old.

You obviously recognize them, and can figure out what needs to be done to resolve them, at least as well as any of your friends & acquaintances can. (I don't know you well enough to figure out whether the solid kick in the seat of your pants that's about all we could contribute would move you in the right direction or activate your Stubborn.) After all, _you_ are the only person who can do anything substantive about such things, and I suppose you will (& that they'll be beneficial things) when your chronological age progresses far enough beyond the age of seventeen that you decide to Do Something. Most of the people I've known who had similar difficulties Took Action by the time they were thirty, but hardly any of them were Gay and that might be a significant factor. (Or it might not -- most of my impression of The Gay Lifestyle has been acquired from people who lived in West Hollywood, and I'm not sure how representative the concentration on physical appearance of that subset might be.)

Meanwhile... I've always found that writing things/problems down helps to objectify and defuse them, even though it doesn't often result in an immediate solution.

And I think I partially understand your decision to move back to Denver. Not that the few days I've spent there were long enough to cause me to fall In Love with that city (or that I can even begin to understand tolerating Cold Winters). I certainly loved Miss San Francisco back in the '50s, when we were both younger (& I was a _very_ young twenty-something), but brief visits in recent years have served only to make me sad because she's wearing much too much make-up and trying much too hard to pretend to be something she really no longer is. (Pity is not a good basis for a Relationship.) Good luck with your mile-high relocation if you decide to make that change.