Measurements Whinge

Neck 37-38cm · 14½-15"
Arm 86-89cm · 33-34" (really hard to measure on my own)
Chest 87cm · 34½" (if I breath in deeply)

So according to the standard men's shirt sizing I'm a small to medium by my neck size, a large by my arm length, and extra small by my chest size. So you see the dilemma. I own many short sleave shirts because of this, there I can ignore neck size (mostly) and sleave length (totally) and just go for chest size. Bring on those extra small and smalls!

On to pants where if I'm wearing them tight I wear a 74cm · 29" waist or if I'm wearing them comfortable I take a 76cm · 30" waist. For more fun if a manufacturer is up market, like Calvin Klein, I swear they knock and inch off their waist sizes. I have a pair of 28x32 jeans that fit me perfectly without any discomfort, just snug, not even tight. It can be really difficult to find jeans with a 30 waist and 32 inseam by the way. They often don't carry them at places like Costco. The last time I was in I saw Calvin Klein jeans, nifty! In sizes down to 31 inch waist. Bah!

I swear that makers of shirts are missing a big bet too. The usual proportions are 1 small 1 medium 2 large and 2 extra large. If a shirt is supposed to be tight or sheer the small guys are going to be buying a lot more of them than the big guys. Why not ship 2 small 2 medium, 1 large and 1 extra large in such cases? But no. I go to the stores and the smalls are gone and they have four extra large spandex tees sitting around waiting to be sold.

The Daily Vignette

Lars waits by the front door finishing his toast like a tall bony thing. A black clad flamingo or something. You know a what's it, a metaphor sort of thing. He's just licking his fingers as Dave comes down the stairs in a black turtleneck and jeans.

"All set?" he asks his glowering companion with a grin.

"No, I'm just ready to get this over."

"Right, follow me then. And don't worry nothing really bad will happen."

As they go out the front door Dave says to himself, "Why do I not believe you?"

Ten minutes later Lars is pushing the squeaky wheeled garden cart over partially frozen ruts with Dave's help. His crow seems not to mind to rough ride too much, he's still determinedly perched on his friend's shoulder. Dave is huffing and puffing out little clouds. The morning sun is just starting to remove the frost edging from the spruce trees.

Dave asks, "So Huff Where... Wheeze.. Are we.. going?"

"To Neversummer," he replies rolling the word around like he's tasting something golden.

"What? The national park is miles away!"

"No, no. Neversummer Distillery, that's it right up ahead."

The cart comes to a stop in front of a weather dulled chain link fence and gate. Dave catches his breath and then looks up as Lars fiddles with the padlock and his big ring of keys. There are various signs on the gate. "Neversummer Distillery, Home of the finest Colorado Whisky" "No Trespassers" "Keep Out" "Intruders Will Be Shot" "This means you Lars Redgrave!"

"For some reason I’m getting a bad feeling about this."

Prior | Index | Next