TAFF Nominations Open

[mishalak]

Well I received notice that nominations for the 2005 TAFF Race are open. It is one of those things that make me a bit wistful. All the logical reasons to be out of fandom still stand, but being human I can't help but want what was good without all the things that were bad for me. And don't get me wrong, fandom is very bad for me because I dislike a great many people in it and if I'm around them long enough I either blow up at them or give myself emotional fits.

And on top of that there all the practical reasons I can't run. I couldn't fulfill the duties of being the TAFF winner (after taking the trip I mean) and given my break down earlier this year I think voters would be rightly leery of voting for me even if I did stand.

Ah well. What would have been if I had been a different person.

Comments

[sneerpout.livejournal.com]

There will be other TAFF races. I'll look forward to you standing for one of those :o)

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

What she said. If it comes around on the ge-tar such that it's right for you, and All That Jazz.

The important part is that you know what's right for you now...and that you're acknowledging the wistfulness, too. FWIW, I'm in agreement on both.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I think perhaps you were not around for the big drama in July. I got very drunk and ended up being dragged to hospital by a friend where I was disagnosed as depressed and sent to a mental ward for three days. I'm lucky I was not kept longer and I'm still paying off the bills. Plus there was the trouble I caused with my conreport going to Bubonicon. And asside from going to MileHiCon here in Denver I don't expect to do many fannish things in the future.

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough in my comment. Yes, I know about the decisions you've made to pull back from fandom including your heavy involvement with DASFA, much of your convention-going, and your TAFF plans. I support those decisions, both because you've made them, and because it's clear from what you've written that the hyper-fannish path you were on wasn't serving you well.

One of the things I treasure about fandom is that it's a place you can leave, for whatever reason, and then return to at most anytime in the future should you decide to come back. Several fans with much higher profiles have done so after leaving fandom in various "blazing exits/burn all bridges" sorts of ways.

*IF* standing for TAFF becomes something you want to do at some future time, I want you to know that, from my perspective, the door is open and I'd welcome supporting that decision then. If not, then not. Likewise with other fanac.

Is that any clearer, or am I just making it worse?

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

appreciate the vote of confidence I honestly believe that I would not make a good TAFF administrator. I'm not trolling for complements. I know that I've said otherwise in the past, but I view those comments as irrational exuberance not supported by my past behavior. I was an okay chair warmer at the Denver Area SF Association, but as far as getting done the mundane month to month drudgery I was the pits. I view myself as lucky to have not killed the club as I did with the two previous organizations I was in charge of. And I don't deal well with "stupid" criticism, I'd probably go nuclear on someone while I tried to administrate the funds. Or else be all efficient and work hard for about five months after coming back and eventually disappearing to parts unknown.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Unless I was willing/able to go to a lot more conventions or promote TAFF in some other way and for that matter want to be part of fandom rather than just hang out with a few people from fandom this is a pretty permanent cannot do it.

Realistically I would probably have some sort of nervous break down about six months after the trip and totally fail to collect TAFF funds for the next two races.

[thette.livejournal.com]

You know you would have gotten some Swedish votes, just to see you and tuwr in the same place, at the same time.

But you know what's best for you.