Mission Creep? An Expanding Mistake? Making a Little Mistake a Much Bigger One?

I need some sort of picture or gif to express the mocking I deserve for getting myself into this situation. And I still do not have a good title for this post.

So, like many self centered men, I engage in an excess of grooming. Including the use of electric hair clippers to trim back the undergrowth. (Delicate enough or still TMI?) All was going well until I decided to neaten the edges by taking off the guide… So then I had an ugly little patch on my thigh so I put another one on the other side for symmetry. And then took off a bit more because it looked wrong… Fifteen minutes later I reached my ankles.

And here is where I took a bad situation and made it worse. The stubble on my legs looked bad so I got out a razor…

Sometime later when the burn-y itchiness started I realized the full extent of my idiocy.

So, women, how do you avoid destroying the world out of annoyance over this? And why has there never been a retaliatory drone strike against a major razor manufacturer? I admire your restraint in not destroying us all.

Also my legs are really pale. My shins are the color of mint ice cream or something. Good thing I do not have a date this week (or ever).