The Instant Message: A Young Nob's Game?

[mishalak]

I remember when the minute I turned on whatever instant message program was hot, AIM, ICQ, MSN, etc. I would instantly connect with people. And when I went to send an instant message I'd find a fair number of people who were available and would respond to an IM. Now... not so much. For every time I turn on GAIM, the client program I use, I will get a message once out of dozen or more. And the vast majority of people in my list never log on, have away messages set all the time, or don't respond when I send a message. I'm thinking perhaps IMs are one of those things that you do for a while and then grow out of. So if I wanted to keep connecting like that I'd have to keep working at replacing the people I connected with every few months or something.

So I am wondering if other people are having the same experience with instant messages. Does anyone IM you? Do you have about forty people on your list who never log on anymore? Do you feel like you should put the rest in a category for people who are constantly logged in but never available?

Comments

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

I am, and a bulk of the people I chat with are, invisible the vast majority of the time.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

But you have people you chat with. This does nothing good for my old parinoia that the reason no one talks to me is that no one wants to talk to me but they just don't want to tell me this.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

I initiate a lot, and very few conversations go past a mutual good morning. I have noticed that consistent light good mornings lead to longer conversations over all, like priming a pump, but it takes a little while.

You are always welcome to talk with me. If nothing else, I think we can talk clothes and cooking?

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

Yup, "maybe they just don't want to talk with him" was my initial thought -- because "..to me" would be my first response if I'd done something like that.

More realistically, the slucegate phenomenon is a much more likely probability -- there's a limit to the number of these small pleasures that most people can handle, and the most common solution seems to be to cut off the whole category. At least it is, for me, in other things -- I've never used IM &cet because I'm terrible at what's essentially superficial socializing, and am sure I wouldn't be able to think (or type) fast enough to make such interchanges worthwhile for either party.

Keeping the social gears oiled isn't unimportant, certainly, but there are distinct downsides to over-doing it, and I suspect that most people consider IM to be overkill, once the novelty has worn off. "Just because it can be done is not necessarily a good reason for doing it", as it were. So rein-in your paranoia, and maybe consider joining an APA with four Mailings per year.

[phoenyxashe.livejournal.com]

I've got Trillian running right now, which manages multiple messaging services at once... which is nice, giving me one program running instead of many, and less strain on my computer.

At this precise moment, I'm connected through it to four services, ICQ, AIM, Yahoo, and MSNIM, the last being a requirement for work. Out of those four services, and I don't want to think about counting the number of total people there, 17 people are listed online. 2 of those are actually just one person. 5 of those, including my double-listed friend, are listed as away.

One of those people is my best friend, and we talk daily. Me being in Colorado in him in Manitoba, IMs are a godsend. Another one is more local, and we don't talk so much via IM, but he uses it as a low level barometer... so long as he sees me online, he knows I'm doing moderately okay. Another one is a friend I dated back before I dated Blair... and though I see him online daily, we usually only talk about once or twice a week, as our schedules don't always mesh. After that, there are maybe two or three others that I talk to with any consistancy, and the rest are just... there. One of those has no memory tag coming to mind.

The ones for work I didn't count, as they are required.

[gomeza.livejournal.com]

I think it's partly that the novelty is over, and partly it seems that almost everyone I know has become more busy and has less free time since the IM phenom debuted.

For myself, I no longer have any IM access at work, at all, and I'm trying to spend less time on the internet at all when I'm at home. I have too many meatspace tasks awaiting my attention.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

www.meebo.com

[gomeza.livejournal.com]

Cool, I'll look into that.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I've never had a job (until now) where I would feel like I could have an IM service on at work. And I still have it off when I'm actually working.

If I was not out in the sticks I suppose I'd be wanting to be on the internet less and doing more things in meat space. With that in mind maybe I should be looking for other isolated rural geeks if I want to chat.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

IMs were standard when I was on AOL and I turned mine off. I spent a lot of my time programming our forum and I didn't want to be interrupted. I told people they could email me. Plus, it wasn't just people I knew. Early on, I was one of the few women and I got IMs from lots of strange(r) guys, and then since I had that I ran the Science forum in my profile, I got lots of IMs from kids who wanted homework help.

[vicarage.livejournal.com]

You are the only person I ever IM with, and that's because Google's version is connected to the mail page. I find IM slow and intrusive, so I don't mind.

[bureinato.livejournal.com]

I got IM because a bunch of friends of mine were all into it, and now they've all vanished.

Our schedules don't overlap as much as they used to. And you are one of the main people I IM.

[ajournalguy.livejournal.com]

I still use AIM, and talk woth my best friend - who moved away - by IM practically every day. I see you on a lot too, but you don’t like, or even know, me very much, so I deliberately refrain from greeting you.

[gilraen2.livejournal.com]

not at all. but then i do most of my business through IM as well as social interaction. i often have three or four or five sessions going at once. the thing i rarely use anymore is...
the telephone!

[gilraen2.livejournal.com]

and i only do AIM and don't see you logged on. if i see you i will with great delight chat with you.