mishalak: Mishalak with long hair and modified so as to look faded. (Faded Photo)
At one time I defined myself by being a SF fan. Mostly a fan of fantasy, but I used the term "SF" because that was traditional. There was more than a little of the Peter Pan rejection of growing up involved in my choosing to be a fan as well as being a way for me to retreat from a world that I felt hostile. I still love books and fantasy books in particular, but I no longer define myself as a fan. I think that fandom was very good to be at a certain period of my life, but I am not interested in defining my life that way anymore.

It comes down to a question of priorities. Do I want to spend my time wrangling over the organization of the local convention or do I want to help get a gay representative elected to the legislature (for example). And at least with the local live action version of fandom there are not a lot of people who I feel like I want to socialize with. They are, still, mostly older than me and a high proportion are only interested in talking about their interests while ignoring the cues that say, "I would gnaw off my own leg if it would get me away from the conversation."

So that's why I'm not a fan. Instead I'm trying to make real life friends with a set of people who do things like go out for drinks and talk about politics. Many of them are my own age and I have hopes this may actually lead to having a boyfriend.
 
mishalak: Mishalak with short hair wearing a blue shirt and looking upwards. (Blue)
I think I finally figured out the sort of thing that I want to put on my personal ad when I start posting that sort of thing again (probably next month). The thing that defines me are those wonderful French phrases like Joie de Vivre and Bon Vivant. The Joy of Living and To Live Well. The only thing I worry a bit about is that using a French phrase might seem a bit pretentious. Not that I'm unpretentious, but I want to put my best foot forward.
 
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
Tea and cake or Death? Tea and cake or Death! Little Red Cookbook! Little Red Cookbook! I'm baking another cake. Because I intend to be prepared when the revolution comes. What, you don't think that revolutionaries will like cake? I think they will and no one who can bake a great cake will be up against the wall when the revolution comes.

Onto prezzies. Like Queenie I love prezzies. If for some reason you want to make me squee with delight I suggest alcohol. Beer, vodka, wine, it does not matter what, I'm an equal opportunity souse, fewer hops is better, but I drink most anything.

If you just want tea and cake then you shall have cake for guests are also like presents. If you want to eat something besides cake you should bring it. If you want to show up well do so, for the time of people starting to arrive shall be three. And people shall also arrive after three and if the lateness of their coming is as late as six there may be drinking. But no one should feel pressure to drink anything other than tea. And if you want you can have a silly hat to wear while you drink tea.

So, tea at three with me. If you're in Denver. If you are not in Denver then you also shall have tea and cake if you care to make it. I would do it for you but the post gets very upset when I try to mail tea. If you drink hard drinks bring alcohol. I only have enough for a dozen or two to get really drunk and we would not want to run out. Or we could go out.
 
mishalak: Mishalak reading a colorful book. (Reading Now)
I have spent parts of the last week in the company of a 13-year-old boy, myself 17 years ago. Read more... )

In the end I found that while the way and reasons I did it was wrong putting down these books after just reading just one may not have been such a bad idea. Between the vacillation over if the angst is okay or silly and the troubling ways love is presented I do not think I would recommend these books to even a young gay man. While it has been interesting as a way to visit a younger self these are not the sort of popcorn stories that a reader like me can go back to over and over every time I need a particular sort of reading experience.
mishalak: Mishalak wearing a furry hat in front of snowy pines. (SnowII)
Well of snarkiness would be more accurate, but not as good sounding. I recently worked it out using a calculator. Which gave me a slightly different result than when I tried to do it in my head yesterday. But 11574.0741 Days = One Billion Seconds, More Or Less. Adding up the numbers of days, leap seconds, allowing for DST, and so on that tells me that I will have been around for one billion seconds on CE 2008 December 19th at 9:46:21am Mountain Standard Time. (If you want to do a rough estimate of when you'll have a billion or two billion that is 31 years eight months from my birth, with a bit left over.)

I was hopeful it would fall this year so I could have a big silly boffo party 'round about June. But it won't be for a bit and it comes in the morning. Bah on that. Well I'll just say I didn't become EVIL for a full twelve hours after that. So Friday December 19th there will be a party in the evening. Glad I worked that out early. And I'll need a new EVIL icon for my journal before then.

Right. But now that it is less than two months out it is time for me to start thinking about how I will or will not celebrate by natal day. Because I'm going to be 30 this year. Big round number that. BIG round number. Yikes. I think I'll kip off to Hawaii and see my boyfriend for the actual day of. So I'll be gone from April 8th to the 15th. Karval Kon is likely to be around that time, perhaps I shall take cake and beer to that. But I think I should also do something with my friends in town. Not on the Date of DASFA, the 21st. Perhaps on the 28th of the month? How does that work for people who would like to celebrate with me? And I'm thinking there should be TEA. It will be a festivitea to celebrate my nativitea.
mishalak: Mishalak with long hair and modified so as to look faded. (Faded Photo)
I think today I'll explain how I use LJ. Because writing it out in public might help me see flaws in the way I do things.

I use Windows XP on an older Gatway PC.
Pentium 4 - 1.4 Ghz - 384 MB RAM

For Livejournal I use three different programs. I used to just use Firefox and the web interface because I didn't want to install any more software. But I found it harder and harder to find what I wanted in my own journal, the post a new entry thing kept screwing up, and there was that link suggesting I could use a client program. So Now I use Semagic to post entries and LJ archive to keep a backup and search my entries. I'm still working on tagging all my back entries using Semagic, it is easier to tag back entries that way.

To navigate various pages on livejournal I use bookmarks in my browser. I find it a lot easier than using the silly tab at the top of the page thing in Livejournal so I have it turned off. It also helps to hold the line on not having my viewable area reduced by every new layer. It also prevents me having to find where the heck I should look for a feature if LJ decides to reorganize things again since the page names seem to stay the same for the most part. I also have a few links on my journal for those times when I'm not at my own computer and for the convenience of other readers. And when I don't have anything else to do I try to add entries to my tags and my memories so I have a nice index.

I have a couple public lists that I break up my journal reading into. General, Fannish, Local, Far Away, and Writers. I used to use an artists category, but it didn't get used much. I also browse various communities via groupings like Gay, Meta, and Fashion. The Fashion one is rather weak right now, most fashion blogging/writing seems to take place elsewhere. I'm thinking of trying to use google's blog reader thing for them.

I use my Journal as a sort of personal random fan 'zine. Or at least that's how I think of how I use it. Stuff about my life as a fan. And I'm trying to get back to my fiction writing so that I have something to put in my writing community [livejournal.com profile] storyguypress.

I read journals I find interesting. Occasionally I add someone to my list who's journal I don't read because that person wants to read my private entries about things like sex and much more personal stuff.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
Here is the score. You think of 1-3 characters from movies that are like you in some way. Explain why you think they're like you and post this explanation and your alter egos in your livejournal.

Cameron - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
I'm a lot like Cameron, I'm always yelling at myself in my car and being very aggressively indecisive when I’m doing something I don't want to do. In addition to the mood swings I also have great friends who like me and make me go do fun things when all I want to do is lie in bed.

Dr. Jackson - Stargate
I've been told the excessively wordy and nerdy manner of the movie Dr. Jackson is pure me. Brilliant, but annoying and maybe a bit naïve though well educated. This might not be as accurate a comparison as once upon a time because I think I've become a lot less geeky in some ways in the last 5 years.

(P.S. Yes I know I say I don't like memes. I just don't like the ones that don't really tell anything about the person posting them in their journal.)
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (The Alchemist)
I really like David Lynch's Dune. At times it seems like everyone else hates it and likes the Sci-Fi version better. For the life of me I can't figure out why. I wonder if that could be a meme. What movie do you defend when people start saying, "Oh that was the worse ever!"?
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Scandinavian)
Random Ideas from Mishalak
Well it is just a bit over a month until my birthday. With that in mind I'm going to make a list of things to help out the people who want to give me gifts. Feel no obligation, I'm not greedy. But I sure as heck don't say no when people shower me with gifts!

Good ol' filthy lucre.
·Contribute to MiFF, The Mishalak Fan Fund. Send any amount you like, your contribution to this PBS Station... er.. fan fund will help Mishalak get to Worldcon later this year! Starting at the $5 level you will get a gushing letter of thanks. At the $10 level you can get a full color photograph of the one and only Mishalak and personalized to you as well! (Sorry fully clothed only unless someone wants to start bidding to get a naughty one made.)

Media Stuff
·The Brotherhood- Gay vampires, probably a really cheesy movie.

·The Last Unicorn on disc (or if you wanted to spend the big bucks the CD would be cool too.)

·The Adventures of Baron Munchausen- DVD or CD

·Interview with the Vampire- For some reason this isn't yet part of my collection. Ahhhh!

Random things to improve my life.
·A phone headset. No really, I think this would improve my life by enabling me to clean as I talk on the phone. Cleaning up by myself is a terribly dreary task. Talking to someone while I clean is much more enjoyable! Heck if I did the same for a friend we could clean up together.

·A Palm with keyboard. Then I could write anywhere! Okay, okay this is mostly a pipe dream. I mean over $100 seems unreasonable for a birthday gift.

·Memory Stick. I like the 128MB memory sticks for my camera, they'll fit 90 full sized pictures in the jpeg format. Don't have the resources to buy one by yourself? Pool with someone else! The last time I was over there this size was $60 at Costco.

·Outdoor speakers. I think it would be really cool to listen to my stereo in the shower. SO I'm thinking given the moist environment that outdoor speakers would be best.

Ahh Clothing
·Actually I really don't need any at this time. All the stuff I have not bought for myself is too expensive anyway.

Food!
·Honey is, as usual, greatly appreciated. I currently have Alpine Wildflower, Fireweed, Orange Blossom (nearly out), Guajillo, Colorado Wildflower, Chestnut, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Irish, and Turkish honey. Anything else would be cool!

·A bottle of something local is very nice. In Colorado wines I favor Carlson Vineyards Peach Wine, Colorado Cellars Port, and Redstone Meadery's line of meads.

Ummm anything I should add to this list? Something you've noted that I actually need but don't have perhaps?
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (The Alchemist)
I've turned off anonymous comment screening so you, faithful readers, can leave a comment on your opinion on me... what you think of me. This of course is one of the circulation anonymous opinions memes. Anything. Feel free to post under your own name, but keep in mind that you can say things more freely (and honestly) if you are anonymous. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
When I was a child I was terrified by the book The Gnomes. In it there was this horrible version of a troll that I became convinced was waiting under my bed to grab my leg. And then of course drag me off to feed my arm through a meat grinder.

On occasion I have wondered if this is why I react badly to being awakened in other than a nice way. Perhaps some not so rational part of my brain assumes that anyone cruel enough to tickle me while I'm asleep must be the 'orrible Snotgurgle and that's why I have on occasion taken swings at people without really being awake because they tickled me while I was sleeping on a table or whatever. One time I was hosed down with a water gun while in a sleeping bad and I leapt upon my attacker without even thinking about it and started pummeling him weakly.

So important safety tip around me. Do not awaken me by tickling, putting my hand in water, or otherwise. I'm likely to be in a bad enough mood to try and kill you in a very ineffective way if you try it.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
Well I got the final crown on my broken tooth today and paid off the rest of my bill. I'm going to have $30 left after I pay my rent on the 1st of the month. It is a scary feeling to be down to nearly zero. Usually I'm the sort that keeps a fair amount on hand all the time so I don't have to worry if an expense comes up. But instead I'll have to husband my funds carefully until payday next week.

Right now my tooth hurts from the wiggling and pull to get the temporary crown off of it, so I'm not a totally happy camper, though hopefully that will be just fine tomorrow morning. I'm going to have a nice soft yam for dinner along with some juice and not much else. I'm off my feed. I do hope this is all normal and nothing has gone wrong.

The pain does put me in mind of what I consider one of the worst mistakes of my youth. Braces. I didn't want them. Not one bit and I expressed my reluctance to get them to my parents, but I didn't do it forcefully enough to overcome the impressive orthodontist title. Parents, never, never give your kids braces unless it is absolutely necessary. My teeth were as near perfect as nature gets. The main reason for me to have them was to fix a 'clicking' jaw. It didn't work and my teeth have a lot more holes in them due to the difficulty I had keeping my teeth clean with the damn braces on. I would rather have whole teeth and a touch of imperfection than perfectly straight teeth with pits and fillings.

If I ever get to travel back to my childhood I know exactly where I would head, the day before the braces appointment was set up to kick, scream, and threaten my parents until they let me keep my teeth.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
One thing you should keep in mind as you read my journal is that even though it might seem that I sometimes write factually, that's just a literary device. I am overwhelmed by the world. More specifically there is too much information out there, too many studies, too many scientists, too much disagreement to believe in any of it. I find myself incapable of holding useful opinions because I cannot decide who is right and wrong. Sure I'll spout off about how certain ideas seem idiotic, but give a proponent five minutes with me and I'll be reduced to a quivering mass without an opinion once again underneath my hard exterior of argumentativeness. The only thing that I can hold onto, that I do know, is what gives me pain and pleasure. And that's just opinion and should not be taken as a positive statement.

In other words, this is a fact free zone. Everything I write is fantasy of one type or another, it is all normative. For all I know this is all an alcohol induced hallucination. There is more of gravy than grave about me.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Elf Boy)
I was very stunned to find a package from Larry [livejournal.com profile] lsanderson sitting outside my door. I immediately got excited, because I always get excited by pwesents! Inside I found four packages of very fine tea including Goomtee, Korakunda, Vithanakauda, and Kasalanda. Wow! Thanks! I shall have a cuppa tomorrow using my new tea strainer. So was it just Larry, or are there other conspirators around here?

And a new icon to celebrate!
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
Once upon a time I wanted nothing more than to find the man who would make my life better. He would be handsome, with a good job, and I would love him enough that when he kicked my ass to get me fixing my life I would do it. About two years ago I realized what a ludicrous dream that was. Waiting for the prince who would make everything better.

If I sit around moping for someone else to make my life better it never will get better because no one is going to get involved with a whiny guy who desperately needs fixing. If I want to be involved with a great guy I've got to become the man I want to be, first.

So I decided that I would decide which things I really wanted to change and which were idle wishes. Also I'd have to be realistic and not try to bite off too much at once. So I've been working on being more positive, at least outwardly. And I try to be neater, honest. That's not going so well so far. And I am exercising more, though I've scaled back my expectations. I'm not going to try for the perfect defined body.

So positive thoughts sort of things to all my friends, and don't wait around for Mr. Right. Find him in yourself.

(I'm not even sure I'm convincing to myself, but I know this is the right answer.)
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (blondie)
I have a system for getting what I want from people. I'm going to explain it now so that when you see me coming with that look on my fact you can just give in and do what I want rather than making me go through the whole routine. Unless you want to do the dance, I enjoy my work. <grin> (It is up to the reader to determine how much of this is to be taken seriously.)

1. Begging. I'm not ashamed to beg or above doing something really embarrassing to my friends like throwing myself on the floor and doing the whole thing with the pouting lip and big sad googly eyes while clinging to a leg. "Oh please, oh please, say yes!"

2. Pouncing. I don't do this as often since I worry about hurting people. But if I think a friend is strong enough to take it I'll get a sufficient running start to knock him or her over. Then I'll sit upon 'es chest and tell what 'e has to do for me. "Hello! You're going to help me put together a fanzine." With a big grin and a lunatic light in my eyes, naturally.

3. Bribery. Since it can be hard to make googly eyes at a person or pounce upon them with any effectiveness when they are in other cities I have worked out a fine system of bribery. Often this involves me sending suggestive pictures of myself and flirting outrageously. If I can get a guy's higher brain functions to shut down out of lust I'm more than halfway to my goal of having a willing henchman. Though it also works in real life. "So you want so see my new thong?" Victim: "Gegah!"

4. Pestering. Often in combination with one or more of the above. When one try doesn't work, try, try again. Don't try to put me off with "I can make it today." I'll ask about the tomorrow, the day after, and a week from next Tuesday too.

5. Blackmail. If I have to I'll use any sort of leverage I've got. Like threatening to quit as Director of the club so that someone else will have to do it. That's one of the cool things about doing jobs no one else wants to do.


So in conclusion, tell me what I want to know, give me what I want, and help me with my project because it will do you no good to resist. <evil laugh>
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
I spent last evening flirting online rather than writing. Bad me. So that's why there were not entries yesterday. I'll write some more after the SCA revel thing tonight. If I'm not knackered.

Oh and the naming process for the new car continues. I decided that it ought to be the "Tin" something. After all it doesn't look much like silver, even though that is what the paint job is supposed to look like. So I was trying to think what would be like "Silver Streak", but not nearly as impressive. Maybe the Tin Smudge?
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
Neck 37-38cm · 14½-15"
Arm 86-89cm · 33-34" (really hard to measure on my own)
Chest 87cm · 34½" (if I breath in deeply)

So according to the standard men's shirt sizing I'm a small to medium by my neck size, a large by my arm length, and extra small by my chest size. So you see the dilemma. I own many short sleave shirts because of this, there I can ignore neck size (mostly) and sleave length (totally) and just go for chest size. Bring on those extra small and smalls!

On to pants where if I'm wearing them tight I wear a 74cm · 29" waist or if I'm wearing them comfortable I take a 76cm · 30" waist. For more fun if a manufacturer is up market, like Calvin Klein, I swear they knock and inch off their waist sizes. I have a pair of 28x32 jeans that fit me perfectly without any discomfort, just snug, not even tight. It can be really difficult to find jeans with a 30 waist and 32 inseam by the way. They often don't carry them at places like Costco. The last time I was in I saw Calvin Klein jeans, nifty! In sizes down to 31 inch waist. Bah!

I swear that makers of shirts are missing a big bet too. The usual proportions are 1 small 1 medium 2 large and 2 extra large. If a shirt is supposed to be tight or sheer the small guys are going to be buying a lot more of them than the big guys. Why not ship 2 small 2 medium, 1 large and 1 extra large in such cases? But no. I go to the stores and the smalls are gone and they have four extra large spandex tees sitting around waiting to be sold.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
I have a mild problem with cold. My fingers and toes get easily chilled probably due to how little body fat I have and the thinness of my extremities. So while I'm as butch as any Coloradan, I can't help but be a bit sensitive to the cold.

When my family took up downhill skiing I was always the one to head inside first. My dad would always be encouraging me to stay out a bit longer, but after two or three ski runs I would head in to warm up for half an hour. I can understand where he was coming from, try to get good value for the increasingly expensive ski lift tickets, but it sometimes made me reluctant to go.

I keep on intending to get some Bob Cratchet gloves. Something to wear around work with just my fingertips exposed so that my hands keep a bit warmer. It would be really excellent if I could find something stylish as well as a bit warm. I don't need heavy gloves or anything; after all I'm in of doors. I think that even some leather would be enough to slow the heat loss from my hands.

So if anyone sees some cool gloves without fingertips, or even some gloves that would still look cool with the fingertips cut off, do let me know! I'll pay for purchase and shipping.

Maybe I should stop by to see my friend Carlos. He owns a store called CJ's Leathers and he made that wonderfully cool Farscape vest for me. He or maybe that goth store I've heard about might have something good.
mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
A Pointless Story
Still sick, but I think I'm getting better. But this illness has put me in mind of a episode from my childhood.

When I was in the second grade it seemed that I would be on a very different future from the one I actually ended up with. You see when I was seven I didn't particularly like to read. Except stories with the great big beautiful illustrations. Many adults tried to convince me otherwise, but I didn't want to have anything to do with those 'boring books' that were all full of plain black letters on white paper. I may very well have become a different person except for what happened to me shortly before my eighth birthday.

I got sick with a pretty heavy cold or maybe a mild case of the flu and ended up staying home from school. My mom, being a thoughtful sort, went to the school and got me my homework from Ms. Grey and Ms. Uymeria (no, I'm not sure about the spelling of her name). She also got me a book, a Hardy Boys Mystery entitled While the Clock Ticks. She suggested I try it even though it only had one illustration near the front.

I reluctantly started, and before I knew it I was hooked. I finished the book in less than a day and requested another two. By the end of the school year I had read all the Hardy Boys books in the school library and started in reading books all the way up to a 4th grade level. One of my favorites was The Witch of Blackbird Pond. So that's how I got started reading. But for being ill I might be been a very different person.

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mishalak: A fantasy version of myself drawn by Sue Mason (Default)
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